Untitled

We should be ashamed. Each and every one of us should, right now, be bowing our heads in shame. I do appreciate us coming together in large numbers at the India Gate, shouting slogans in front of the CMs residence, holding all those vigils. Don’t get me wrong for I do laud the sense of brotherhood and comradeship that seems to have awakened in us. But I am ashamed. I am ashamed that it took one girl living out her worst nightmare to bring it out. I fail to comprehend what it is that makes this one girl different from all the others over all those years? That she was raped in a moving bus that plied through some very busy areas of the city while the assault was in progress? Or that she had her intestines pulled out by an iron rod that was thrust into her? Or the fact that she lay naked, exposed and bleeding by the road for quite a while before help arrived? Or is it that she is ‘a fighter’ as her doctor terms it because of her sheer will to live? Because I dare you to tell me that none of the other girls before her had the will to live or the spirit to fight.

‘Amanat’ – because that is what the fourth estate seems to have christened her – is fighting for her life in a lone hospital room. ‘Amanat’.  ‘A priced possession’. Seriously? She is a priced possession because she was brutally raped and violated to the point where she was barely alive? I can bet anything that if there wasn’t a legal clause that made it punishable to divulge the identity of a rape victim, her name, her photograph and almost anything you wanted to know about her would be all over the NEWS by now. The ethics of the media can be called to question here if you care to bring up the girl in Assam who was molested and groped by an entire mob of men as a Cameraman stood by and filmed the entire thing. The media portrays ‘Amanat’ as a heroic survivor. Well, let’s get this straight. She is no hero. She is the victim of a brutal assault that stripped her of more than just her dignity – a simple girl who now faces the horrifying prospect of not being able to eat even a single meal or lead a normal life. The last thing she needs is to come out of that hospital alive and find herself a national celebrity - the involuntary champion of a cause that should have been addressed eons ago. And face the fact that the gruesome details of the attack upon her are the objects of Facebook statuses all over the nation. That would definitely be therapeutic. Do not trick yourself into believing that we are doing her a favour by sensationalising her case and her story. In a way, we are effectively victimising her.

While the entire nation is at India Gate, in front of the TV in anxious wait for ‘Amanats’ recovery or busy changing their display pictures to black dots, there is yet another woman who claims to have been gang-raped in Delhi by five men who were no strangers to her. And an innocent THREE-year old who is fighting for her life in a Mumbai hospital after being raped by her own father. And yet another lifeless body of a girl that has been found somewhere with what the Police call ‘obvious signs of rape’. Tell me they suffered – are suffering - any less. I genuinely commend all those people who are pushing for a change now. Do I support you whole-heartedly? No. Because I feel guilty and guilt makes us want to stop and reflect. Guilty that we turned a blind eye and a deaf ear to all those other women before this. Guilty that we kept quiet as they were publicly and unashamedly blamed for what happened to them – the clothes they wore, the company they kept, the choices they made. Guilty that it took one girl to be assaulted in as brutal a way as had never been heard of before for us to get up from our couches and do something about it. Guilty that I kept quiet – keep quiet – every time I was teased or approached or touched inappropriately by some deprived guy in a very public place.

I sincerely do hope we change something. That we manage to effect more convictions in cases of sexual assault, that we agree on more rigorous punishment than the 7 years we now equal a woman’s dignity to, that we see safer streets and parking garages. But as we push for it all I ask is that we do not use that semi-conscious girl in a hospital bed in Delhi as the reason. All I ask is that we draw on our sense of humanity and morals and keep her out of it all, give her ample space and time for recovery while we fight the battle. All I ask is that we do not further elevate her celebrity status to the point where in the future, irrespective of whether we succeed or not, she will be known as that girl who got raped in a bus in Delhi. That we spare her from those looks of scorn and sympathy, the judgement and the sheer social stigma that comes with it all. Because after the furore has died down and the cause is yet another sheet for our leaders to ponder over, she will be alone in her pain and face it, having publicised it considerably, we will not be there to bear it with her. Hence, all I ask is that we do not fight for her. Instead if we are fighting, let’s fight for us.